Over the last couple months I have been processing a lot of the research and writing of both Chap Clark in his book Hurt and Kendra Dean’s book’s Almost Christian. I believe that they differ in their focus, and their focus leads them to make the conclusions they do about today’s youth and their spirituality. What emerges from both of them is the fact that teen’s spiritual faith is not in the place we would hope it would be. Clark believes it has something to do with systemic abandonment and Dean believes that it has something to do with the God that teens are perceiving in the church. I think both are correct and in fact related. The relational point is that adult in teen’s lives.
My pastor showed a video at a church meeting where fleas were placed on a table where they could be seen jumping about. In the video, a person then walked up and placed a glass jar over the fleas, restraining their ability to jump. After a little while, the person emerged again and removed the glass jar from on top of the fleas. The fleas had adapted to being in the glass jar and now only jumped as high as the jar would have allowed. For the rest of their lives, the fleas could only jump as high as the glass jar would have allowed too. In fact, the announcer proclaimed that not only would the fleas not be able to jump higher than the glass jar allowed, but also their off-spring would have the same limits.
After seeing this video it was as if a light bulb turned on over my head, yes like in the cartoons. I realized that it was highly unlikely that children and teens would never be able to develop a Christian life that was more mature than the adults in their lives. In fact, as Dean’s research shows, teens are developing a theology that reflects their church’s or parent’s spirituality. Yet, what Dean discuess is that almost no teens are reflecting the type of spirituality that is displayed in scripture. Teens are starting to believe in what is called, “Moralistic Therapeutic Deism.” In this spirituality, God is a feel good god that gives them what they like and solves their problems. As I joked with my pastor, it is like we are turning God into a Starbucks Barista.
As I sat and prayed over some of these topics this morning I had a thought, it all has to do with how we define “success.”
When I sit down and talk to local youth pastors and pastors in Orange County one key thing emerges, kids are way to busy. Teens are not only busy with sports, school, or other extra-curricular activities; they are busy with everything. Families and students are starting to believe that they will be fulfilled if they work their butts off to get into the best college, to then find the best job. Therefore, the best job, equals happiness.
Pastors aren’t the only one’s who are telling me this. There is not a week that goes by when I don’t hear from a student that they cannot come to youth group because of an AP test or a sports game. The funny thing is, many of them would rather come to youth group then study for 2 more hours for an AP test, or practice for 3 more hours for club soccer, but they continue to study and continue to practice. Why? Because they feel like they have to or they will let someone down. That if they come to church, they won’t get into the best school they can.
I was talking to a student after youth group one night who was apologizing to me for missing youth group for 2 months strait. I looked at this person and said, “you were missed, but I don’t blame you.” As this person continued to talk they were telling me about the pressure they felt to perform at school, do well on the SAT, and be in all the school activities. I just looked at them and said one thing, “you can tell your parents you feel this way.”
They looked right back at me with tears in their eyes and said, “You are going to make me cry.”
What are we telling our teens when they feel they need to set aside church or youth group to do school work or sports, because only those things will help them get to the point were they will be successful and happy in life?
I thing this all has to do with how we are defining success.
Many teens feel like if they don’t do all these things to get into the best college or to be the most popular person, they will have failed. Therefore, teen are forced to push themselves to be successful, but in doing so they push aside Jesus.
Jesus is not someone who is against success, in fact he was very successful at what he was sent to do, and it was just that he redefined what it meant to be successful. In the Kingdom of God success comes when we take up our cross and follow Jesus. Success comes when we become a servant of those in need.
The pictures of success Jesus paints are contrary to the ideas of success that the world tells our families, parents, and students. The world’s view of success entraps our families, parents, and teens and moves their focus from God to elsewhere.
That is why not only our teens, but adults need to come face to face with a gospel message that not only sets us free from sin, but sets us free from the culture we so easily can become enslaved too. A culture that defines success as the degree we have, the car in our driveway, or the money in our bank account; instead of the picture of success that Jesus paints: success as serving others.
In today’s world it is necessary that we see our job as ministering not only to teens, but also to their parents and other adults in our student’s lives. For it is these adults that inform the worldview of our teens and communicate to them what it means to be successful.
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