Currently in the United States, the ideal family unit is generally consists of two parents who have 2.5 children. What most Americans have failed to realize is that this understanding of what a family is has only existed post-industrialization (word choice?) in the United States. Prior to Industrialization, families were much larger and included grandfathers, grandmothers, aunts, and uncles. Much for the reason is because a majority of families had to farm land, which takes a lot of people to do well, or each work jobs to survive. For instance, my grandfather grew up on a farm in Minnesota and had 16 brothers and sisters. His parents had so many children because they each helped in caring for the farm in order to pay the bills and live off their own land. When the depression hit, my great-grandfather, after losing everything, killed himself. My grandfather’s family was broken up and sent all over the greater Minnesota area to family and friends who could take them in and care for them. Before he was a teen, my grandfather was sent off to live with his uncle and aunt, who worked another farm in the area. After the passing of his father, my grandfather’s understanding of family was changed for the rest of his life; he no longer saw his family as those who were his parents or blood siblings. While it was hidden under a tough exterior, underneath existed a man who believed family was more than one’s blood relatives.
This weekend a movie based on the true story of current Baltimore Ravens player Michael Oher called The Blind Side arrived in theaters around the world, which also raised questions about the contemporary definition of family. Set in Memphis, Tennessee around 2003, the movie is about a black boy from a poor urban area who is taken away from his mother at the age of seven by child-protective services. The boy bounces in and out of foster homes and homes of people who welcome him in, until he is invited to stay with a white family. At the beginning of the movie, Michael enters a predominantly white private Christian school in Memphis on a sports scholarship, after the father of a friend he is staying with convinces the school to enroll him. Michael soon hears this helpful man and his wife fighting about the strain of having him in the house, and he finds himself back on the street, with no where to go and temperatures nearing freezing.
At this pivotal moment Michael’s story changes. After seeing him walking in the rain, Leigh Anne Tuohy, a woman who has two children at Michael’s school, invites him to come stay the night at her house. Over time, Leigh Anne and her family invite Michael to join their family as their son, as they beginning to fall in love with a boy they never expected to. By the end of the movie Michael has moved from being a boy who they care for, to being a son and brother who the family loves as their own.
As the movie comes to an end, Leigh Anne, played by Sandra Bullock, speaks about a boy she read about in the paper who was a great athlete who was killed on his twenty-first birthday. Leigh Anne raises the question, what if someone would have cared for this boy, as the Tuohy’s had cared for Michael; would his life have looked different?
While there are issues within the character Leigh Anne’s question, such as, should only those who are “good athletes” or those who show promise be helped out of their situation, I think the question is getting at something important. If we reform her question to ask, What if others had cared for this boy, a normal boy who had encountered unfortunate life circumstances? Maybe even taken in by a family as their own child? How would this boy’s life have been different?
That is the question I believe needs to be directed right at the church. Jesus states, “whoever cares for the least of these, cares for me” in Matthew 25. Jesus even states in a world where children are seen as the lowest ranking members of the cast system, “let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom belongs to such as these” (Matthew 19:14). Jesus calls his people, his Church, to care for those who society and culture has made outcasts, the lowest of the low. Is the church missing its call to care for those in need? It is so easy to drive into urban areas, care for those in need for a day, two days, or even a week, but what about caring for those in need daily? What about rescuing a boy or girl who is living in poverty and turmoil daily?
What about redefining what we believe a “Christian family” is? After all, Jesus redefines family as those who “do the will of his father are his brothers and sisters” (Matthew 12:50). Peter even calls the church the “family of God” (1 Peter 4:17). As the Church invites those who are in need in and askes them to become a part of the family of God, the Church redefines what it means to be family.
In the movie, while the coach is convincing the board of the school to admit Michael, he appeals to them by stating, “What does this banner say? It says Christian!” Many Christians are willing to tattoo, wear shirts, or put stickers on our cars like banners that tell the world they are followers of Jesus. But how many of us are willing to let our lives, including how we spend our money, how we care for those in need, and how we define family, be banners that tell the world we are followers of Jesus? My feeling as I look at the church is that a lot more people are okay with purchasing a Christian bumper sticker or t-shirt, before even thinking about changing how they would define family, in order to care for those who Jesus states, “when you care for the least of these, you care for me.”
It is the church’s call to care for, show compassion toward, and take in those who are need. It might not look exactly as it did for the Tuohy family, but I think when we start to redefine our understanding of what family is, like the Tuohy family did, we will see those in our community and around the world differently.
More Resources for the film The Blind Side at: http://www.youthworker.com/youth-ministry-resources-ideas/youth-culture-news/11617089/
November 30, 2009
November 25, 2009
Black Friday, "Want" Vs. "Need" (Part 2)
How should the church respond to all of this, outlined in the previous blog entry? After all, this is main question we should be asking ourselves if we are followers of Jesus. The church’s response to a culture of consumption lies within finding a balance between one’s “needs” and one’s “wants.” At the same time, we must take into consideration the stewardship of our money, especially in a time of great need in our world and country. Godly stewardship commands that all of one’s belongings are truly God’s, rather than one’s own.
Looking at “needs” verses “wants,” biblically speaking, God provides for the things we “need,” not for the things we “want.” Jesus, in Matthew 6:24 states, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?” In this verse a person’s basic needs are addressed; Jesus outlines that God will care for this people, and therefore, we are not to worry about our basic needs. It is important to also remember that there are people in the world that are without these basic needs and it is the church’s job to care for these people. In fact, this is exactly how God hopes to care for those who are in need in the world. God calls his Church to take into consideration those who are in need in their community and world when contemplating how to spend their money (Matthew 25: 31-46, Acts 2: 42-47). Caring for those who are poor is the topic of greatest concern in all of scripture, with over 3,000 references to the topic of poverty; this should be one of the Church’s greatest concerns.
When it comes to “want,” especially in the United States, it is easy to mix up “needs” for “wants;” and let me be the first to say I struggle when drawing the line between the two. It is helpful to ask yourself if you are really in “need” of a certain item or if you just “want” that item. When the line between “wants” and “needs” becomes blurred it is easy to become controlled by your “wants.” For instance, when annual cell phone contracts are up for renewal and the old cell phone is in fine working order, meeting our needs, how many of us, including myself, just go and purchase the newest phone, satisfying our “want”. Somehow, we have convinced ourselves that we need a new phone, when in fact we probably do not. It is even more questionable when we start purchasing everything we “want.” Soon before we realize it, our “wants” become what controls our behaviors and desires. Jesus reminds us, “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money” (Matthew 6:24 TNIV). This might seem like a harsh stance for Jesus to take, in fact, I am sure there are many people who have somehow skewed this text to make it say what they want it to. Yet, it seems pretty plain to us, if a person is serving money, material objects, stuff, and/or anything that will parish, they are not serving God.
Ultimately, that is the key. Are you serving God or money? How has control over your stuff, your money? When it comes to this holiday season, are you purchasing stuff just to fill someone’s or your own stocking? Are you taking into consideration those who are in need in the world? Are you serving money or God with what was never yours in the first place?
You see, despite what commercials tell us, material objects cannot fix your family, but God can. Clothing cannot make you get into the holiday season, but focusing it on God can. Providing your family with what they want will not make your or their holiday better, but seeing your holiday as a time to worship God can. As a Christian, I am embarrassed to know far to little about other holidays, but I can say with great conviction that there are no holidays that will occur this season that are focused on what people “want,” the stuff being exchanged, or the gifts given. Holidays are about celebrating what the creator has done for his creation. When God stepped into time he intervened in a salvific way to redeem his people. Therefore, as we sit on Thanksgiving and look through all the Black Friday ads that fly across our television screen or litter our newspaper, let us ask ourselves, is my God being honored this holiday season with how and where I am spending my money? Are my “wants” controlling the way I view this holiday season? Or, is God asking me to change, to do something different this holiday season?
May all of you have a blessed Thanksgiving with the people you love, and may you also remember it is not about what you have as much as who you serve. God Bless.
Looking at “needs” verses “wants,” biblically speaking, God provides for the things we “need,” not for the things we “want.” Jesus, in Matthew 6:24 states, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?” In this verse a person’s basic needs are addressed; Jesus outlines that God will care for this people, and therefore, we are not to worry about our basic needs. It is important to also remember that there are people in the world that are without these basic needs and it is the church’s job to care for these people. In fact, this is exactly how God hopes to care for those who are in need in the world. God calls his Church to take into consideration those who are in need in their community and world when contemplating how to spend their money (Matthew 25: 31-46, Acts 2: 42-47). Caring for those who are poor is the topic of greatest concern in all of scripture, with over 3,000 references to the topic of poverty; this should be one of the Church’s greatest concerns.
When it comes to “want,” especially in the United States, it is easy to mix up “needs” for “wants;” and let me be the first to say I struggle when drawing the line between the two. It is helpful to ask yourself if you are really in “need” of a certain item or if you just “want” that item. When the line between “wants” and “needs” becomes blurred it is easy to become controlled by your “wants.” For instance, when annual cell phone contracts are up for renewal and the old cell phone is in fine working order, meeting our needs, how many of us, including myself, just go and purchase the newest phone, satisfying our “want”. Somehow, we have convinced ourselves that we need a new phone, when in fact we probably do not. It is even more questionable when we start purchasing everything we “want.” Soon before we realize it, our “wants” become what controls our behaviors and desires. Jesus reminds us, “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money” (Matthew 6:24 TNIV). This might seem like a harsh stance for Jesus to take, in fact, I am sure there are many people who have somehow skewed this text to make it say what they want it to. Yet, it seems pretty plain to us, if a person is serving money, material objects, stuff, and/or anything that will parish, they are not serving God.
Ultimately, that is the key. Are you serving God or money? How has control over your stuff, your money? When it comes to this holiday season, are you purchasing stuff just to fill someone’s or your own stocking? Are you taking into consideration those who are in need in the world? Are you serving money or God with what was never yours in the first place?
You see, despite what commercials tell us, material objects cannot fix your family, but God can. Clothing cannot make you get into the holiday season, but focusing it on God can. Providing your family with what they want will not make your or their holiday better, but seeing your holiday as a time to worship God can. As a Christian, I am embarrassed to know far to little about other holidays, but I can say with great conviction that there are no holidays that will occur this season that are focused on what people “want,” the stuff being exchanged, or the gifts given. Holidays are about celebrating what the creator has done for his creation. When God stepped into time he intervened in a salvific way to redeem his people. Therefore, as we sit on Thanksgiving and look through all the Black Friday ads that fly across our television screen or litter our newspaper, let us ask ourselves, is my God being honored this holiday season with how and where I am spending my money? Are my “wants” controlling the way I view this holiday season? Or, is God asking me to change, to do something different this holiday season?
May all of you have a blessed Thanksgiving with the people you love, and may you also remember it is not about what you have as much as who you serve. God Bless.
November 23, 2009
Black Friday, "Want" Vs. "Need" (Part 1)
While sitting on my couch staring at the TV after a long day during the first week of November, I was awakened from my mindless coma by what could only be explained as an explosion of noise, colors, and music blaring from the screen toward me. Without knowing what had just happened, and feeling a little attacked, I caught a glimpse of the “Gap” logo and the sound of cheery holiday voices before it ended. I quickly grabbed my computer and looked up the commercial in order to fully comprehend what I had just experienced. After a couple of views I no longer felt attacked, but was strangely frustrated. (If you haven’t seen the commercial please view it here now or you will be confused with what will follow). I wasn’t frustrated by what can only be described as holiday pluralism at its best, what upset me was what followed. From the TV screen, within an advertisement, this was stated, “eighty-six the rules, you do what just feels right, and you do whatever you wantukah and to all a cheery night.” Then a simple message flies up on your screen, “ready for holiday cheer…‘Gap’.” Feeling confused and frustrated all at the same time, I wondered…when did what we want start to control us? When did doing what we want equal a cheery night? And when did Christmas and the holiday season become all about us? As the I thought, the answer became clear, when our wants become our god.
The Friday following Thanksgiving is traditionally known as “Black Friday,” one of the biggest shopping days of the year. Black Friday receives this title because of the assumption that companies move from operating in the “red,” or deficit, to in the “black,” or profit. Usually this is the biggest shopping day of the year. People wake up early or do not sleep at all in order to stand in line for the special deals. This Black Friday will most likely not be any different, but some things have changed. Has this holiday season approaches, many people living in “the red,” or should I say, living in debt. This reality has a direct relationship to another thing that has changed, the marketing strategies of major companies this Christmas. Companies are no longer trying to sell consumers products that they “need” or even “want,” they have gone so far as to sell products as happiness, or a type of instant cheer. It is as if by purchasing products from major companies consumers will not only be happy, but that these products will solve everyone’s personal issues.
This is not an uncommon strategy in the marketing world, in fact there is a name for it—branding. Just think about your average beer commercial. Normally you will see a group of “pretty people” gathered together all drinking a certain type of beer (I am not condoning or opposing the drinking of alcohol, I am using this sample commercial because they are generally the best known among consumers.) The main idea these commercials are trying to communicate to consumers is that if you drink this beer you will have as much fun, be around and maybe even be as “pretty” as these people are.
Other commercials are meant to inform us about a product; take for instance the MGD 64 beer, “with 64 calories in one bottle.” The point of the commercial is to one, inform consumers that this product exists, and two, to tell us that if we drink other competing products we are taking in more calories. Therefore upon a trip to the market to purchase beer one will think to themselves, “oh yea, MGD has that new beer with only 64 calories and I do no want all the calories that come with other alcoholic beverages, so I will buy MGD 64.”
This year’s commercials are taking a step in a new direction; they are no longer just selling you a product, they are telling you out rightly what to do to make your life better. Just like in the “Gap” commercial, telling you to “do whatever you wantukah, do what just feels right.” (On a side note, I hope that Jewish people around the world are upset by the insensitive combination of want and Hanukkah. In reality, all companies are trying to do is to sell you their product so that they will no longer be in “the red.” If one was to translate Gap’s message to the consumer, it would read something like this: spend money on what feels right, buy whatever you want, it does not matter if you are lacking in funds, after all, it is all about holiday cheer.
Take for instance the following “Best Buy” commercial for the holidays. (Link) As the “Best Buy” employees/ carolers sing to you, they create a scenario in your mind where there is conflict. They then proceed to solve the conflict by telling you that if you purchase this computer package, all your family computer issues will be solved. They sing to their listeners, if you buy this product there will be “no waiting, and no fighting, and shouting, no bad biting… only love and hugging, and a sweet loving family!” The genius of this commercial is that Best Buy creates a scenario, develop its plots, and solves issues with no characters at all except the ones you create in your own head. Through this strategy, no empathy is required on the part of the viewer in order to understand the message. Storytelling with no character development or faces, allows the audience to create their own characters, made up of their only family. Therefore as the story unfolds, the viewers literally will play out this conflict within their own family life, at the end seeing the resolution “Best Buy” wants them to see. In reality is it pure psychological genius on the part of the marketers at “Best Buy,” yet what strikes me is what causes the issue in the first place, want. During the commercial the fight in the family occurs because everyone wants what they cannot have. Instead of solving the issue by teaching your kids to be patient and share, “Best Buy” tells us that all our wants can be fulfilled, only for the price of $1199. When did parenting becoming about fulfilling everyone’s wants, over raising children who where patient, kind, loving, and sharing?
So what if consumers are so in debt that they cannot afford to purchase products all at once? Well, K-Mart has solved that issue for you, just use their layaway purchasing demonstrated in this commercial. All you have to do is pay a little each week, further allowing consumers to go into debt. What the commercial does not tell you is that “the Service Fee ($5) plus Cancellation Fee ($10), or 10% down payment (whichever is greater) is collected when merchandise is put into layaway” per item you contractually enter into. (content.kmart.com/ue/home/Kmart_Layaway.pdf) This means that you are, in fact, paying more for the items you are purchasing than if you just bought them outright. Yet, K-Mart does not really care about that, all they want is for you to purchase their products so that they will get out of the “red,” no matter if you fall deeper into the “red.” So, in reality, what commercial is saying to consumers is that it does not matter if you cannot pay for everything outright, having gifts for the holidays is far more important than financial stability.
(Part 2, coming Wednesday morning)
The Friday following Thanksgiving is traditionally known as “Black Friday,” one of the biggest shopping days of the year. Black Friday receives this title because of the assumption that companies move from operating in the “red,” or deficit, to in the “black,” or profit. Usually this is the biggest shopping day of the year. People wake up early or do not sleep at all in order to stand in line for the special deals. This Black Friday will most likely not be any different, but some things have changed. Has this holiday season approaches, many people living in “the red,” or should I say, living in debt. This reality has a direct relationship to another thing that has changed, the marketing strategies of major companies this Christmas. Companies are no longer trying to sell consumers products that they “need” or even “want,” they have gone so far as to sell products as happiness, or a type of instant cheer. It is as if by purchasing products from major companies consumers will not only be happy, but that these products will solve everyone’s personal issues.
This is not an uncommon strategy in the marketing world, in fact there is a name for it—branding. Just think about your average beer commercial. Normally you will see a group of “pretty people” gathered together all drinking a certain type of beer (I am not condoning or opposing the drinking of alcohol, I am using this sample commercial because they are generally the best known among consumers.) The main idea these commercials are trying to communicate to consumers is that if you drink this beer you will have as much fun, be around and maybe even be as “pretty” as these people are.
Other commercials are meant to inform us about a product; take for instance the MGD 64 beer, “with 64 calories in one bottle.” The point of the commercial is to one, inform consumers that this product exists, and two, to tell us that if we drink other competing products we are taking in more calories. Therefore upon a trip to the market to purchase beer one will think to themselves, “oh yea, MGD has that new beer with only 64 calories and I do no want all the calories that come with other alcoholic beverages, so I will buy MGD 64.”
This year’s commercials are taking a step in a new direction; they are no longer just selling you a product, they are telling you out rightly what to do to make your life better. Just like in the “Gap” commercial, telling you to “do whatever you wantukah, do what just feels right.” (On a side note, I hope that Jewish people around the world are upset by the insensitive combination of want and Hanukkah. In reality, all companies are trying to do is to sell you their product so that they will no longer be in “the red.” If one was to translate Gap’s message to the consumer, it would read something like this: spend money on what feels right, buy whatever you want, it does not matter if you are lacking in funds, after all, it is all about holiday cheer.
Take for instance the following “Best Buy” commercial for the holidays. (Link) As the “Best Buy” employees/ carolers sing to you, they create a scenario in your mind where there is conflict. They then proceed to solve the conflict by telling you that if you purchase this computer package, all your family computer issues will be solved. They sing to their listeners, if you buy this product there will be “no waiting, and no fighting, and shouting, no bad biting… only love and hugging, and a sweet loving family!” The genius of this commercial is that Best Buy creates a scenario, develop its plots, and solves issues with no characters at all except the ones you create in your own head. Through this strategy, no empathy is required on the part of the viewer in order to understand the message. Storytelling with no character development or faces, allows the audience to create their own characters, made up of their only family. Therefore as the story unfolds, the viewers literally will play out this conflict within their own family life, at the end seeing the resolution “Best Buy” wants them to see. In reality is it pure psychological genius on the part of the marketers at “Best Buy,” yet what strikes me is what causes the issue in the first place, want. During the commercial the fight in the family occurs because everyone wants what they cannot have. Instead of solving the issue by teaching your kids to be patient and share, “Best Buy” tells us that all our wants can be fulfilled, only for the price of $1199. When did parenting becoming about fulfilling everyone’s wants, over raising children who where patient, kind, loving, and sharing?
So what if consumers are so in debt that they cannot afford to purchase products all at once? Well, K-Mart has solved that issue for you, just use their layaway purchasing demonstrated in this commercial. All you have to do is pay a little each week, further allowing consumers to go into debt. What the commercial does not tell you is that “the Service Fee ($5) plus Cancellation Fee ($10), or 10% down payment (whichever is greater) is collected when merchandise is put into layaway” per item you contractually enter into. (content.kmart.com/ue/home/Kmart_Layaway.pdf) This means that you are, in fact, paying more for the items you are purchasing than if you just bought them outright. Yet, K-Mart does not really care about that, all they want is for you to purchase their products so that they will get out of the “red,” no matter if you fall deeper into the “red.” So, in reality, what commercial is saying to consumers is that it does not matter if you cannot pay for everything outright, having gifts for the holidays is far more important than financial stability.
(Part 2, coming Wednesday morning)
November 17, 2009
Alter The Ending, finding Redemption & Love
On the way to the beach on Sunday for a service day, helping our students learn about creation care, a student grabbed my iPod and started from A going to Z looking at all of my music. Every time he came across a band he knew, he called out, “you like…?” The student was surprised by how many bands we both listen to. What followed was a twenty-minute conversation about music between the students in my car and myself. What emerged, other than the similar bands we both like, was this student’s love for music, but more importantly, how much music helped this student process his own life. Music has that ability; through listening to the experiences of another, we minister to our own experiences.
One music genre that gained popularity among adolescents during the early 21st century is called “emo,” short for “emotional rock,” birthed in the 1980s and 90s with bands such as Rites of Spring and Sunny Day Restate. Emo wasn’t allows synonymous with depression and self-affliction, as many of today’s students believe, in fact in the late 1990s it was a genre of rock blowing up in the independent and Christian music world. In 1998 with the rise of this new rock music genre, a small Florida band of Christians named Further Seems Forever, emerged on the music scene, with a lead singer, who according to Andy Greenwald, the writer of Nothing Feels Good, would become the face of emo. You might have never even heard of this small Christian band, Further Seems Forever, but over their time as a band, from 1998 to 2006, they had three different lead singers, three studio albums, and where a part of Tooth & Nail Records. Yet, all of their accomplishments pale in comparison to their former singer, Chris Carrabba, who later became the founder and lead singer of Dashboard Confessional.
Dashboard Confessional’s beginnings were meek and difficult; Carrabba began by going on punk tours with friends, playing solo between sets with nothing but an acoustic guitar, a stool to sit on, and his voice. Soon, the short quiet boy with a great voice and unique song writing ability from Florida started getting big. After recording the small and unknown album entitled Drowning EP, Carrabba, was signed to the pop-punk record label Drive Thru Records and released “Swiss Army Romance” in 2000After signing and putting out his first album Carrabba left Drive Thru Records and signed with Vagrant Records for unknown reasons. It is on Vagrant Records that he put out his then groundbreaking record, The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most, with the single and newly full band verse track “Screaming Infidelities,” Dashboard Confessional’s first radio hit. Soon Carrabba’s voice became the sound track of heartbroken college and high school students all over the country. With Dashboard Confessional’s fame on the rise Carrabba’s ended his solo act ended and became a fun band re-recording solo songs, writing a new EP, and even appearing on MTV’s Unplugged.
The rest is history; the boy with simple punk roots was a national artist with videos on both MTV and VH1. Carrabba’s original followers cried out heresy when he recorded his first album with an electric guitar, A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar, in 2003. Whether Carrabba’s originality was lost when he “blew up,” when Dashboard Confessional became a full band, or it was that the band had been copied too much, no one can really say, but something had changed. What became clearer and clearer to everyone was that he was no longer the original inventive artist he once was when playing his randomly tuned acoustic guitar with passion. What Carrabba and his band mates called “maturity,” was interpreted by listeners as another “top 40 hit” put out by the recording industry. Carrabba even ventured back to his acoustic roots with 2007’s The Shade of Poison Trees, but it fell short and sold almost 90,000 less in the first week of sales than his last “marketable” album.
It has been over two year since Carrabba has released anything, but this week he released his new record Alter the Ending. The vaguely entitled album offers a new direction for Carrabba; while The Shade of Poison Trees offered a glimpse of things to come, “Alter the Ending” is Carraba’s most mature album to date, lyrically. No longer does he cathartically deal with the antics of his past relationships like a 17-year-old high school boy, he lyrically searches for answers in his past.
The first song of the album will most likely catch most listeners by surprise; entitled “get me right,” in the song Carrabba returns to his roots, not musically, but spiritually. In this song Carrabba seems to not only be making peace with his past, but is also seeking to return to his maker, crying out, “I made my way home, limpin’ on broken bones, out of the thickest pines, across the county line, onto your wooden stairs, I know you can repair, I know you’ve seen the light I know you’ll get me right.” While at first one can conjecture whom Carrabba is speaking of, throughout the song it becomes much clearer as he calls out, “Well, Jesus I’ve fallen.” With authenticity that any pastor would love to hear from his/her people, Carrabba sings, “I’ve struggled so hard to believe, I’ll meet my maker, I need my maker, to cure me from my doubting blood and drain me of the sin I’ve loved and take from me my disbelief, I know it should come easily, but it remains inside of me.”
This spiritual turn is not new in the post-emo-punk music scene. In 2006, long time emo-pop-punk band Brand New released the song, God and the Devil Are Raging Inside Me, as a part of their single “Jesus Christ.” Brand New has released albums that are not typically “Christian Music,” and rather has defiant spiritual overtones dealing with issues such as death, anger, community, and yes, even Jesus himself. Brand New’s biggest change came during their headlining tour in the fall of 2008, when they announced from stage “that they only wanted to tour with people who they ‘want to be around’ and who are healthy to be around”. Since then Brand New has gathered a community of Christian tour mates, including bands like mewithoutYou, Thrice, Anathallo, and Jeremy Enigk, even taking the up-coming “Christian”/spiritual band Manchester Orchestra under their wings.
Carrabba’s new CD differs from the others that have come before is because he has created an album that invites his listeners to journey with him through his process of searching for redemption. Dashboard Confessional’s album is not what I would call “Christian,” or even “spiritual,” it is a step in a new direction. Carrabba still openly talks about the “sin” he struggles with, especially in the song, “The Motions.” In the song, Carrabba confesses how the chemicals released during sexual activities control much of his actions, confessing, “if this is chemical I am not ashamed to be owned by the impulses of science.” He even states in “No News is Bad News,” “what makes you so sure that our sins are the start of something holy divine?” Since his break out hit “Hands Down,” Carrabba has leaned toward sexually driven songs, referring to his escapades with girls. One has to wonder through how many of these songs Carrabba is recounting his search for love and redemption amongst the opposite sex, instead of in God. (See lyrics to “get me right” and compare themes of love and redemption)
Approaching the end of the album, in the song “Water to Bridges,” Carrabba sings out, “this weight, these words are tearing me apart, that’s enough for a back to break, that’s enough for a lot to take. And I have been paying for it since I drove my girl away. And that’s the song of a solemn man, I’ll make the best of the best I can…” What is revealed in this concluding song is a man who is searching his past in hopes of salvation; crying out “save me from the grey life, I have paid the price with my soul. Oh, save me!” Finally the album concludes with the words, “it is hard to belong to a girl or a song in the case of a selfish believer, it is strange to be lost, stranger still to belong on the strings of a twisting line... from the path from the grass to the grave I will love you still, and when the sand turns to glass and all that left is the past, I will love you still.”
Whether or not this album is Carrabba’s Christian re-birth is not the point. The album Alter The Ending goes beyond the catergory of “Christian music.” What emerges is a man struggling to find redemption and love through searching his past. This is the beauty of this album; it is true to life, even a Christian life. There are many teenage boys and girls who are seeking to find love and redemption from their past and in the mist of their mistakes. “Alter the Ending” is a CD that can help students process their pasts, presents, and futures in hopes of finding redemption. I encourage you to guild students through this CD, ask them questions, discuss, and find meaning in the words and melodies of a man who is seeking discover the same things they are, love and redemption. Blessings in all you do my friends.
One music genre that gained popularity among adolescents during the early 21st century is called “emo,” short for “emotional rock,” birthed in the 1980s and 90s with bands such as Rites of Spring and Sunny Day Restate. Emo wasn’t allows synonymous with depression and self-affliction, as many of today’s students believe, in fact in the late 1990s it was a genre of rock blowing up in the independent and Christian music world. In 1998 with the rise of this new rock music genre, a small Florida band of Christians named Further Seems Forever, emerged on the music scene, with a lead singer, who according to Andy Greenwald, the writer of Nothing Feels Good, would become the face of emo. You might have never even heard of this small Christian band, Further Seems Forever, but over their time as a band, from 1998 to 2006, they had three different lead singers, three studio albums, and where a part of Tooth & Nail Records. Yet, all of their accomplishments pale in comparison to their former singer, Chris Carrabba, who later became the founder and lead singer of Dashboard Confessional.
Dashboard Confessional’s beginnings were meek and difficult; Carrabba began by going on punk tours with friends, playing solo between sets with nothing but an acoustic guitar, a stool to sit on, and his voice. Soon, the short quiet boy with a great voice and unique song writing ability from Florida started getting big. After recording the small and unknown album entitled Drowning EP, Carrabba, was signed to the pop-punk record label Drive Thru Records and released “Swiss Army Romance” in 2000After signing and putting out his first album Carrabba left Drive Thru Records and signed with Vagrant Records for unknown reasons. It is on Vagrant Records that he put out his then groundbreaking record, The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most, with the single and newly full band verse track “Screaming Infidelities,” Dashboard Confessional’s first radio hit. Soon Carrabba’s voice became the sound track of heartbroken college and high school students all over the country. With Dashboard Confessional’s fame on the rise Carrabba’s ended his solo act ended and became a fun band re-recording solo songs, writing a new EP, and even appearing on MTV’s Unplugged.
The rest is history; the boy with simple punk roots was a national artist with videos on both MTV and VH1. Carrabba’s original followers cried out heresy when he recorded his first album with an electric guitar, A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar, in 2003. Whether Carrabba’s originality was lost when he “blew up,” when Dashboard Confessional became a full band, or it was that the band had been copied too much, no one can really say, but something had changed. What became clearer and clearer to everyone was that he was no longer the original inventive artist he once was when playing his randomly tuned acoustic guitar with passion. What Carrabba and his band mates called “maturity,” was interpreted by listeners as another “top 40 hit” put out by the recording industry. Carrabba even ventured back to his acoustic roots with 2007’s The Shade of Poison Trees, but it fell short and sold almost 90,000 less in the first week of sales than his last “marketable” album.
It has been over two year since Carrabba has released anything, but this week he released his new record Alter the Ending. The vaguely entitled album offers a new direction for Carrabba; while The Shade of Poison Trees offered a glimpse of things to come, “Alter the Ending” is Carraba’s most mature album to date, lyrically. No longer does he cathartically deal with the antics of his past relationships like a 17-year-old high school boy, he lyrically searches for answers in his past.
The first song of the album will most likely catch most listeners by surprise; entitled “get me right,” in the song Carrabba returns to his roots, not musically, but spiritually. In this song Carrabba seems to not only be making peace with his past, but is also seeking to return to his maker, crying out, “I made my way home, limpin’ on broken bones, out of the thickest pines, across the county line, onto your wooden stairs, I know you can repair, I know you’ve seen the light I know you’ll get me right.” While at first one can conjecture whom Carrabba is speaking of, throughout the song it becomes much clearer as he calls out, “Well, Jesus I’ve fallen.” With authenticity that any pastor would love to hear from his/her people, Carrabba sings, “I’ve struggled so hard to believe, I’ll meet my maker, I need my maker, to cure me from my doubting blood and drain me of the sin I’ve loved and take from me my disbelief, I know it should come easily, but it remains inside of me.”
This spiritual turn is not new in the post-emo-punk music scene. In 2006, long time emo-pop-punk band Brand New released the song, God and the Devil Are Raging Inside Me, as a part of their single “Jesus Christ.” Brand New has released albums that are not typically “Christian Music,” and rather has defiant spiritual overtones dealing with issues such as death, anger, community, and yes, even Jesus himself. Brand New’s biggest change came during their headlining tour in the fall of 2008, when they announced from stage “that they only wanted to tour with people who they ‘want to be around’ and who are healthy to be around”. Since then Brand New has gathered a community of Christian tour mates, including bands like mewithoutYou, Thrice, Anathallo, and Jeremy Enigk, even taking the up-coming “Christian”/spiritual band Manchester Orchestra under their wings.
Carrabba’s new CD differs from the others that have come before is because he has created an album that invites his listeners to journey with him through his process of searching for redemption. Dashboard Confessional’s album is not what I would call “Christian,” or even “spiritual,” it is a step in a new direction. Carrabba still openly talks about the “sin” he struggles with, especially in the song, “The Motions.” In the song, Carrabba confesses how the chemicals released during sexual activities control much of his actions, confessing, “if this is chemical I am not ashamed to be owned by the impulses of science.” He even states in “No News is Bad News,” “what makes you so sure that our sins are the start of something holy divine?” Since his break out hit “Hands Down,” Carrabba has leaned toward sexually driven songs, referring to his escapades with girls. One has to wonder through how many of these songs Carrabba is recounting his search for love and redemption amongst the opposite sex, instead of in God. (See lyrics to “get me right” and compare themes of love and redemption)
Approaching the end of the album, in the song “Water to Bridges,” Carrabba sings out, “this weight, these words are tearing me apart, that’s enough for a back to break, that’s enough for a lot to take. And I have been paying for it since I drove my girl away. And that’s the song of a solemn man, I’ll make the best of the best I can…” What is revealed in this concluding song is a man who is searching his past in hopes of salvation; crying out “save me from the grey life, I have paid the price with my soul. Oh, save me!” Finally the album concludes with the words, “it is hard to belong to a girl or a song in the case of a selfish believer, it is strange to be lost, stranger still to belong on the strings of a twisting line... from the path from the grass to the grave I will love you still, and when the sand turns to glass and all that left is the past, I will love you still.”
Whether or not this album is Carrabba’s Christian re-birth is not the point. The album Alter The Ending goes beyond the catergory of “Christian music.” What emerges is a man struggling to find redemption and love through searching his past. This is the beauty of this album; it is true to life, even a Christian life. There are many teenage boys and girls who are seeking to find love and redemption from their past and in the mist of their mistakes. “Alter the Ending” is a CD that can help students process their pasts, presents, and futures in hopes of finding redemption. I encourage you to guild students through this CD, ask them questions, discuss, and find meaning in the words and melodies of a man who is seeking discover the same things they are, love and redemption. Blessings in all you do my friends.
November 9, 2009
Four Aspects of a Safe Youth Environment
On the first week of a new job, as I was introduced to the whole youth group, I opened by telling a story. The story I told was my story including I grew up, how my home life affected me, the things—both good and bad—that I did in Junior High and High School, how I came to faith, my journey with Christ and his Church after my conversation, and how I am happy to now be a part of that new community.
I opened with a story because one of the most important steps to creating a safe place has a lot to do with stories. As Dean Borgman in his book Hear My Story: Understanding the Cries of Troubled Youth reminds us, in a way every person’s life is a “story in progress”. God is a God of stories. Throughout scripture we find the unfolding of God’s salvation story: how God created, enters into relationship with his creation and works to redeem his creation Every person’s life story is deeply connected to the story of God’s work in the world. As ministers of God’s kingdom work, the church is to participate and join the work of God in the unfolding of his story of salvation.
Within the move from modernity to post-modernity we have seen a deconstruction of cultural shaping meta-narratives. In other words, post-modern philosophies have worked to break down and question cultural-shaping and religious-shaping narratives that work to form those cultural or religious communities. At the same time, post-modernism has highlighted the individual narrative over and against meta-narratives; meaning that an individual’s experience and background are more important in determining his/her religious beliefs and values. Experience is believed to be the god of one’s own beliefs.
Now imagine that an adolescent-aged student, who has grown up with this cultural understanding, is a member of a church where s/he is unable to wrestle through how scripture has anything to do with his/her experiences and story. More likely than not, a student’s experience will outweigh and overtake any moral, philosophical, or inspirational message that s/he hears preached from any pulpit. This means that if a student associates pain with God or the church in any way, s/he will see God or the church as the one who causes this pain. However, the opposite will happen if someone connects happiness and joy with God or their church experience.
This is where creating a safe place plays a vital role in establishing relationships with students. On my first Sunday at a new church I shared my story, and by doing this, I invited the community of students into my narrative. I shared my struggles, joy, triumphs, and myself to the students of my church community and welcomed them to become a part of my story. These students can no longer sit in the audience with questions of who I am, where I am from, what I am all about, or why I am a part of this community; they now know. By opening up my own life, I also communicated to each person that here, in this place, authenticity is important. (It is essential to remember that students are not your accountability partners, so be open but do not burden them. As a youth leader you have a responsibility to care for each student, not have him/her care for you. Your level of openness must be appropriate and is at your discretion. Through telling my story, I allowed the students to see that it is okay to struggle with faith, to raise questions, and to be real with others. The most important component of sharing my story is that I chose for this to happen in a safe place, communicating that this is a space for each student to do the same.
Creating a safe place for students does not happen overnight; it takes a long time and a lot of prayer. It is important to remember that many of the students in your youth group have been hurt by adults; and therefore, will be guarded against being hurt again, which is in part why it takes time and prayer. It is important that you pray that God will open up the hearts of the youth in your community. Remember, we are joining with the work of God who is already at work among our students. Take the time to be open to and to get to know your students; the more time you spend with them, getting to know them the more comfortable they will feel around you. This is also why it is so important to take time to be with your students outside of youth group; teens need to know that you care in order to feel safe. The best way to show students that you care about them is to spend time with them.
When you are spending time with adolescents make sure you have a predetermined reason or plan for what you will do; this will save you from spending too much time talking about nothing important. The goal of meeting and hanging out with students is to invite students to open up and share their story with you. If you are spending time talking about football or cheerleading the entire time, you are not using your time wisely, and you are being a friend, not a pastor. When going to meet with a student, unless a drastic event or incident comes up, make sure to have a ending time in mind, as well as a subject matter in mind. Throughout the meeting it is important to allow the student to feel like you do not have an agenda right out of the gate; take time to check in with them. If you do have an agenda, make sure to be clear about this when asking the student to meet. If s/he asks you to meet, make sure to allow him/her to direct the flow of the conversation, meaning s/he will talk at least 70% of the time. It is fruitful to take time to learn and practice the skill of directive listening; it is a good skill to have when entering into a counseling-like session. At the same time, directive listening allows the person to feel safe because they control the conversation topic, and you are there to help them process. Remember listen and become a learner before you speak. Take the time to invite your students to invite you into their story by listening. Only when we listen do we earn the right to speak.
During my transition of leaving my previous church community, I made sure to introduce someone to the guys I had been meeting with over the previous years, who would continue to make connections and be a support to them. During this process some of the boys opened up to this new person quicker than others, but there was one guy who still did not feel comfortable being completely real with the person taking my place when I left. After sitting down with this student a couple months after I left, I realized that he was scared of being judged for his shortcomings. Due to this student’s past, he has a lot of baggage he continues to struggle with, and when this student backslides into his old ways he needs to be shown a lot of grace from those around him.
There are many students much like this one, who need grace much more than they need judgment; in fact, it is impossible to create a safe place for students if judgment outweighs grace in our communities. If a student comes to you after falling, use it as a teaching moment where God’s grace can be seen, after all that is what Jesus did, just like in the story of the women caught in adultery. Every time a student comes to you, may you show him/her the same grace that Jesus did on that fateful day. Many students, because of their age, will displace their feelings about you onto God; if you are judgmental, so is God in their eyes.
We have covered four important aspects of creating a safe place: authenticity, taking time to get to know students and their stories, taking time to listen before talking, and remembering to be a conduit of God’s grace. While there are many other aspects that can help lead to creating a safe place for students, these are the four most important that translate no matter what your context is. Remember in a post-modern context safety is one of the most important environmental factors in developing a youth ministry that works to authentically reach students for Christ. Blessings as you look to see how these aspects might best work in your own youth ministry context.
I opened with a story because one of the most important steps to creating a safe place has a lot to do with stories. As Dean Borgman in his book Hear My Story: Understanding the Cries of Troubled Youth reminds us, in a way every person’s life is a “story in progress”. God is a God of stories. Throughout scripture we find the unfolding of God’s salvation story: how God created, enters into relationship with his creation and works to redeem his creation Every person’s life story is deeply connected to the story of God’s work in the world. As ministers of God’s kingdom work, the church is to participate and join the work of God in the unfolding of his story of salvation.
Within the move from modernity to post-modernity we have seen a deconstruction of cultural shaping meta-narratives. In other words, post-modern philosophies have worked to break down and question cultural-shaping and religious-shaping narratives that work to form those cultural or religious communities. At the same time, post-modernism has highlighted the individual narrative over and against meta-narratives; meaning that an individual’s experience and background are more important in determining his/her religious beliefs and values. Experience is believed to be the god of one’s own beliefs.
Now imagine that an adolescent-aged student, who has grown up with this cultural understanding, is a member of a church where s/he is unable to wrestle through how scripture has anything to do with his/her experiences and story. More likely than not, a student’s experience will outweigh and overtake any moral, philosophical, or inspirational message that s/he hears preached from any pulpit. This means that if a student associates pain with God or the church in any way, s/he will see God or the church as the one who causes this pain. However, the opposite will happen if someone connects happiness and joy with God or their church experience.
This is where creating a safe place plays a vital role in establishing relationships with students. On my first Sunday at a new church I shared my story, and by doing this, I invited the community of students into my narrative. I shared my struggles, joy, triumphs, and myself to the students of my church community and welcomed them to become a part of my story. These students can no longer sit in the audience with questions of who I am, where I am from, what I am all about, or why I am a part of this community; they now know. By opening up my own life, I also communicated to each person that here, in this place, authenticity is important. (It is essential to remember that students are not your accountability partners, so be open but do not burden them. As a youth leader you have a responsibility to care for each student, not have him/her care for you. Your level of openness must be appropriate and is at your discretion. Through telling my story, I allowed the students to see that it is okay to struggle with faith, to raise questions, and to be real with others. The most important component of sharing my story is that I chose for this to happen in a safe place, communicating that this is a space for each student to do the same.
Creating a safe place for students does not happen overnight; it takes a long time and a lot of prayer. It is important to remember that many of the students in your youth group have been hurt by adults; and therefore, will be guarded against being hurt again, which is in part why it takes time and prayer. It is important that you pray that God will open up the hearts of the youth in your community. Remember, we are joining with the work of God who is already at work among our students. Take the time to be open to and to get to know your students; the more time you spend with them, getting to know them the more comfortable they will feel around you. This is also why it is so important to take time to be with your students outside of youth group; teens need to know that you care in order to feel safe. The best way to show students that you care about them is to spend time with them.
When you are spending time with adolescents make sure you have a predetermined reason or plan for what you will do; this will save you from spending too much time talking about nothing important. The goal of meeting and hanging out with students is to invite students to open up and share their story with you. If you are spending time talking about football or cheerleading the entire time, you are not using your time wisely, and you are being a friend, not a pastor. When going to meet with a student, unless a drastic event or incident comes up, make sure to have a ending time in mind, as well as a subject matter in mind. Throughout the meeting it is important to allow the student to feel like you do not have an agenda right out of the gate; take time to check in with them. If you do have an agenda, make sure to be clear about this when asking the student to meet. If s/he asks you to meet, make sure to allow him/her to direct the flow of the conversation, meaning s/he will talk at least 70% of the time. It is fruitful to take time to learn and practice the skill of directive listening; it is a good skill to have when entering into a counseling-like session. At the same time, directive listening allows the person to feel safe because they control the conversation topic, and you are there to help them process. Remember listen and become a learner before you speak. Take the time to invite your students to invite you into their story by listening. Only when we listen do we earn the right to speak.
During my transition of leaving my previous church community, I made sure to introduce someone to the guys I had been meeting with over the previous years, who would continue to make connections and be a support to them. During this process some of the boys opened up to this new person quicker than others, but there was one guy who still did not feel comfortable being completely real with the person taking my place when I left. After sitting down with this student a couple months after I left, I realized that he was scared of being judged for his shortcomings. Due to this student’s past, he has a lot of baggage he continues to struggle with, and when this student backslides into his old ways he needs to be shown a lot of grace from those around him.
There are many students much like this one, who need grace much more than they need judgment; in fact, it is impossible to create a safe place for students if judgment outweighs grace in our communities. If a student comes to you after falling, use it as a teaching moment where God’s grace can be seen, after all that is what Jesus did, just like in the story of the women caught in adultery. Every time a student comes to you, may you show him/her the same grace that Jesus did on that fateful day. Many students, because of their age, will displace their feelings about you onto God; if you are judgmental, so is God in their eyes.
We have covered four important aspects of creating a safe place: authenticity, taking time to get to know students and their stories, taking time to listen before talking, and remembering to be a conduit of God’s grace. While there are many other aspects that can help lead to creating a safe place for students, these are the four most important that translate no matter what your context is. Remember in a post-modern context safety is one of the most important environmental factors in developing a youth ministry that works to authentically reach students for Christ. Blessings as you look to see how these aspects might best work in your own youth ministry context.
November 2, 2009
KRS-One & Buckshot Preach
Over the last month and a half I have been regularly updating every Friday, as some of you might have noticed that follow every week, I did not update this last Friday. Much of the reasons for that are because of some personal changes that have been going on in my life. A week ago God called me into a new church where I will now be serving. With this shift I have had to pick up and move my life to a new place and community.
Now for what this means for redeemingcreation.blogspot.com. I will still be continuing to blog here and nothing really will change expect the day blogs will be posted. From now on blogs will be posted on Monday's instead of Fridays. I still hope that all of you will continue to follow and participate has God leads you.
Next Monday I will return and continue on with the topic of creating a safe place for teens, but for this week I invite you to listen to a new voice and dialog. Below is a youtube video of a song on the new album called "Survival Skills," by KRS-One and Buckshot, two influencal Hip-Hop MC's who have been in the Hip-Hop game for a long time. In the song "Think of All The Things Featuring K'naan," the rappers discuss and provide a great prospective on parenting issues for both urban and suburban areas.
Good questions to ask yourself while you are listening:
What they are discussing?
Why is it an important topic in today's world?
How present is this topic in my faith community and my local community?
How is the topic which this song deals with represented in your community?
How, if at all, does this song communicate gospel principles that your community needs to hear?
What can we learn from what this song?
How might we use this song as a topic of dialog in our church communities?
How does the gospel of Christ interact with this song?
What does this mean for how I approach youth ministry in my context?
How might we help to work for the type of change this song is asking for as a church community?
(Warning song does use strong and suggestive language)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3Wb6vWdWus
Now for what this means for redeemingcreation.blogspot.com. I will still be continuing to blog here and nothing really will change expect the day blogs will be posted. From now on blogs will be posted on Monday's instead of Fridays. I still hope that all of you will continue to follow and participate has God leads you.
Next Monday I will return and continue on with the topic of creating a safe place for teens, but for this week I invite you to listen to a new voice and dialog. Below is a youtube video of a song on the new album called "Survival Skills," by KRS-One and Buckshot, two influencal Hip-Hop MC's who have been in the Hip-Hop game for a long time. In the song "Think of All The Things Featuring K'naan," the rappers discuss and provide a great prospective on parenting issues for both urban and suburban areas.
Good questions to ask yourself while you are listening:
What they are discussing?
Why is it an important topic in today's world?
How present is this topic in my faith community and my local community?
How is the topic which this song deals with represented in your community?
How, if at all, does this song communicate gospel principles that your community needs to hear?
What can we learn from what this song?
How might we use this song as a topic of dialog in our church communities?
How does the gospel of Christ interact with this song?
What does this mean for how I approach youth ministry in my context?
How might we help to work for the type of change this song is asking for as a church community?
(Warning song does use strong and suggestive language)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3Wb6vWdWus
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